How to keep your marriage happy, and avoid the baby blues..

Guys, I'm not going to lie, after my readings for class this week I was REALLY scared to start having children.  It is so important to me to have a family, and I have always loved children (I mean come on, I chose to be a child development major!), but after hearing that on average couples become less and less satisfied in their marriage with each child that is born, I was a little bit worried.

Not to worry though, there IS hope, and today I want to discuss some ways that a couple can work to stay happy in their relationship even if they end up having 13 children!

The most important thing to remember is the system of the family.  According to Family Systems Theory, the unit of the family is made up of systems and subsystems that work together.  For a marriage to be satisfying, even after births of multiple children, the subsystem that needs to stay the strongest is that of the husband and wife.  What sometimes happens is a strong bond between mother and child, pushing the father out of the equation, but there are specific ways to stop this tragic event from occurring.

• Husband and wife need to plan ahead, anticipating the increase of their workload and the fact that their time able to spend with each other will decrease.  If this is discussed and planned for, many problems will be avoided.
• Throughout the pregnancy, the wife needs to keep the husband an active participant.  Have him come to all of the prenatal appointments, and keep him up to date with the exciting developments, like movement of the baby.
• And after the baby is born, it is crucial for the husband and wife to work as a team.  A trend that is commonly seen is the distance enlarging between the husband and wife as the child becomes more important.  This can lead to a withdrawal of both parties as the husband views his importance and appreciation from his wife decrease, and as the wife sees the husband as selfish for not wanting to help to support with her workload.  This circular causality will never end unless the wife makes a conscious effort to love and appreciate her husband, while the husband does his best to support his wife and help out as much as he can.
• This last suggestion is one of my favorites, because it continues to grow the relationship between the father and the baby, which is very important.  If the dad makes sure to take his turn feeding and changing the baby, along with waking up at night to take care of it, the wife will feel more love and appreciation and have the energy to work on their relationship.

Overall, hard work and love will pay off in the end.  To build a strong and happy family, we must be willing to make the effort.

*HAPPY FAMILIES CHANGE THE WORLD*

And what would a post about babies be without a cute baby picture?

Credit goes to one of my best friends, Brianna and her cutie pie baby, Paxton!